Are Manners Passé?

There I was sitting in the car dealership’s nicely appointed waiting room killing time with a crossword,  occasionally glancing up at the TV news, waiting for my winter tires to be installed and oil changed.

Since it was a Wednesday, there were not too many people waiting and quite a number of chairs were vacant.  I was sitting in a chair at the end of a row of three rows forming a “U”. In the centre of this “U” was a huge, round coffee table.

In came a middle-aged woman who sat in the end chair in the row to my left and proceeded to take off her shoes. She then planted her feet on the table. I mentioned her being middle-aged as we tend to ascribe bad behaviour and lack of manners to young people, rightly or wrongly.

She sat there reading a book like she was in her living room and not in a public waiting area of a business. I was surprised but really, I should not be as we have seen people put their feet on seats on trains and in movie theatres, put their bags on the seat next to them depriving another of a seat, spit on the sidewalk, push ahead of others in line, bump in to others without a glance, furthermore an “excuse me”, talk during live performances, speak loudly and about personal business on cell phones, park in no parking areas outside the supermarket forcing traffic into one lane and the list goes on.

To say anything to the offender may risk being told off in the most colourful language and in extreme cases, one`s life. So we just look away and hope someone else would take up the challenge or that we could soon complete whatever mission we are on and depart from the presence of the ill-mannered.

Will keep you posted.

Occupy This

So you cheer when various Occupy Movements are asked to vacate an area, when protesters are pepper sprayed, arrested and generally brutalized. So you comment on social media, write letters to the editor and call in to radio shows to say you agree with all this and as a matter of fact, the protesters should get out of your parks, off your streets and just get a job and while they are at it, a bath . You pay taxes and they are in your parks that are for walking your dogs, pushing your strollers and for you to sit on a bench to enjoy the sun and eat lunch.

So you claim you have no idea what the occupiers want; if only you had a clue what they were protesting and the worst of it, who are their leaders? How can there be no leaders. Well, without leaders, how can the media cover the protests? God forbid reporters have to drag their butts to the occupy sites and talk to protesters to understand a wide range of issues and report on them without spin.

So you think they have made their point and should just move on and let you get on with your so very important life ‘cause fighting for rights has a timeline. Don’t you remember such timelines from the civil rights movement? Okay Mr. King et al, two months tops to get your points across and then you need to stop your marching and sit-ins and boycotts and general bellyaching and return to the back of the bus and remember your place.  You don’t remember this? Well shame on you. Bone up on your history and you will see that all revolutionaries had a timeline dictated to them by the oppressors.

During the Arab uprisings, did you cheer on protesters in Egypt’s Tahrir Square? How about in Libya? What about the other nations like Tunisia and Syria fighting to determine their destiny? If you rooted for any of these protesters and high-fived when Mubarak resigned, leaders in Sudan and Iraq announced they won’t seek re-election and when Gadhafi was captured and killed, then hypocrisy is thy name.

You cannot have it both ways. You cannot claim to be for democracy but only when it suits your definition and timetable. You cannot talk about “exporting democracy” but try to stifle it at home.  You cannot insult the protesters by calling them “dirty hippies” and worse and at the first sign of inconvenience to you, run to the mayor’s office to request the full force of the law to be turned on them.

Democracy is not neatly packaged. It is not fought for exclusively by the nicely dressed and well-scrubbed. It’s not meant to make the few comfortable at the expense of the many. A lot of us would never join a protest group, rough it in a tent in a park in sunny weather furthermore in inclement weather so when some are willing to do all these things and more, they need understanding and support not pithy comments, ridicule and the heavy hand of law enforcement.

The Occupy Movement protesters may be evicted from their camps but that does not mean the movement is dead. It is now a world-wide phenomenon whether you agree with it or not.  Tents may be dismantled but an idea, awareness, knowledge and the fight for social justice cannot be dismantled and carted away.  

Injustice has been magnified. Frustrated people who thought they were alone fighting against “too-big-to-fail” companies now know they have numbers that matter and can bring about positive change. Those who thought their vote did not count and who did not vote now, hopefully, realise they should pick a side, not because some talking head said how to vote but because they have done their research and will support the side that best represents their views. The fight will continue.

Will keep you posted.

Really Herman Cain?

Herman Cain - Feeling the Heat?

What to make of a man like Herman Cain? A man who said this about the Occupy Wall Street protesters: "Don't blame Wall Street, don't blame the big banks, if you don't have a job and you're not rich, blame yourself!” There he was touting personal responsibility although in an ignorant manner but seemed to jettison said responsibility when his behind was in the fire. Faced with allegations of sexual harassment, what did Cain do? He blamed himself. HaHaHa. I apologize, couldn’t resist. He blamed everyone and their mother for his failings. Really Herman? The “Democrat machine” is bringing you down? This man has got to be aware that Democrats would love to see him as the GOP nominee.  He can’t be that clueless. Big bucks could be made selling tickets to see him debate President Obama. There won’t be enough hankies for him to mop his sweaty brow.  

Here’s a man who saw absolutely nothing wrong with saying, “African Americans have been brainwashed into not being open minded, not even considering a conservative point of view." So, Herman, if they were not looking at you as a viable candidate for POTUS, they have been “brainwashed”? It had nothing to do with you not having the qualities to be president? Since he is a conservative, obviously the brainwashing didn’t work on him but pity the majority of Blacks who didn’t have the fortitude to withstand said brainwashing. Interesting that he recently confirmed his wife is a Democrat. Does he see her as “not open minded”? He couldn’t even convince his own wife to leave what he called “the Democrat plantation”. Nuff said about his powers of persuasion.

Cain said as president he “Won’t feel comfortable having a Muslim in his cabinet.” This from a man who grew up during the civil rights era and witnessed the struggles of his race. But then again, he seemed happy to sit out the fight and continued to sit in the back of the bus because his father told him to avoid trouble. Would Cain be at all perturbed if a white presidential candidate had said he/she didn't want a Black person in his/her cabinet? Somehow I doubt it.

Dear Herman, a Stage IV colon cancer survivor, said he would be dead under “Obamacare” without a thought for all those who die because, unlike him, they have no wealth to buy healthcare. I wonder if Herman Cain has poor relatives and what exactly do they think of him criticizing a president who found a way to help those without means, to have access to healthcare.

Herman Cain - Lose the Hat

Herman Cain wrote in his book, that should he become president, his Secret Service codename should be “Cornbread”.  There is nothing wrong with cornbread; it’s delicious but don’t you think the POTUS should have a more dignified codename?  Why the self-deprecating behaviour? Cain seems to think playing to stereotypes is alright and speaking of stereotypes, lose the freaking hat; we know what that screams.

We see him in debates and interviews referring to himself in the third person. Just imagine dear Herman at a G8, G20 and other meetings with world leaders speaking like this. Stop it! Herman Cain is the type of Black person who by acting like a full blown fool and  making idiotic statements on the national stage, makes some Black people cringe.

In my humble opinion, I think he had to joke, laugh and poke fun at himself to get noticed by and remain in the circles of which he wanted to be a part. Maybe he thought if they were laughing with him, they won’t be laughing at him, hence the “Shucky Ducky” and “Love y’all” when he announced his run. 

Mr. Cain also seemed to think American foreign policy is to go into countries and “kick the you know what out of everyone in the world.” What an imbecilic thing to say. He is so shaky on so many levels it boggles the mind. He had to verify which side President Obama was on before he could give his opposite-to-Obama answer on Libya and then embarrassed himself anyway by showing he had no clue about an event that just unfolded in the preceding months.

Herman Cain does not appear to be a serious thinker. Yes, he has risen to be a CEO and has accumulated wealth and this is commendable. However, after you’ve arrived and not many of your fellow travellers have been able to replicate what you’ve done, please don’t say that racism doesn’t hold anybody back in a big way. There are many successful blacks, overwhelmingly in sports and entertainment, so what to make of those still struggling to get a toe hold on the first rung of the ladder. Minorities may get a job (note the colour spectrum at entry level) but as we ride the elevator to the middle management offices and on to the corner offices of the CEOs, the colour spectrum fades almost to white so we can’t discount racism.

I have no problem with Herman Cain being a Conservative as we all can’t be enlightened LiberalsJ. I have a problem with him seeming to willingly give aid and comfort to his overwhelmingly white audiences when he says the things for them in the public realm they would probably like to say but can’t.

Herman Cain, there is a name for you and it is “NOT PRESIDENTIAL MATERIAL”.

Will keep you posted

My Mother Said NO

I was born to older parents and although I had a wonderful relationship with them, as a teenager, I sometimes wished they were younger like the parents of most of my friends. I usually wished for this especially about my mother, when she said no to a request to go out with said friends.

I thought my mother old-fashioned for not allowing me to just go wherever my friends and I thought it was our right to be. In my immature mind, my mother said no because she was old and had no clue about modern life.

Don’t get me wrong; she didn’t say no to every demand but to me, it seemed just to those that would have been the most exciting.  Young, with-it mothers let their daughters have fun; mine was a party-pooper.  I promised myself that when I had kids, they could go wherever they wanted. I won’t be cramping their style like my mother did mine.

Then I had three daughters and guess what? I said no to some of their requests and it wasn’t because I was old; I’d had them all by age 26. It was because it became apparent that saying no to children when you deem it necessary is more a manifestation of love than saying yes to all their desires and giving in to their every whim.

I’m sure it was no bed of roses for my mother dealing with a teenager while in her fifties and she probably wondered if she was doing the right thing.  It is said with maturity comes wisdom and I am thankful for the mother I had and I appreciate her desire to protect me by saying no.`

In the end, I truly am my mother’s daughter. In raising my daughters, saying no at times was the best thing I could do for them. Do they believe this? I’m sure they do but the acknowledgment will come when they have their own children and have to say no.

Will keep you posted.