Role Reversal

My daughters have been giving me advice. After years of guiding and encouraging them, I now find myself in the position of receiving guidance, encouraging words and at times, the proverbial slap upside my head.

I have been doing some serious introspection to fully understand why I am the way I am and how to be less of a worrier. Self-reflection is the easy part; actually making necessary changes that result from this exercise is the head cracker. Why? After years of worrying whether I was doing the right thing and making the correct decisions, while single handedly making a decent life for my daughters, it's difficult to change that part of me. I still worry about the girls but now I worry about making decisions that are right for me.

My three daughters and I have always been a tight-knit group and I always had an open outlook and they could discuss anything with me and not be judged or have that information used as a cudgel later on. Of course it has not always been an easy road and we never agreed on everything but we valued each other's input and tried to walk the talk as they say. One thing I always treasured was hearing my daughters tell me they knew their secret was safe with me and that I would never mention a thing to a sister unless they gave the green light.

Now the roles have been reversed and I am listening to my daughters speak some hard truths to me and of course, they come from a place of love. Not only, are they telling me what I should be doing to relieve stress and make some wrongs right, they are actually backing up their opinion with detailed information from observing me all these years. They have actually pointed out where I tend to sabotage situations so I can save myself potential agony (more than likely of my own doing) down the road.

I appreciate their input and who better to get advice from than the people who know you best plus I don't have to lie on a couch, these therapy sessions can be spontaneous and best of all, the price is right; well maybe a nice home cooked meal here and there.

Will keep you posted.

Sears - What It Meant To Me

Sears Christmas Wish Book 2013

Sears will be moving out of some prime location malls, including my home mall as business is not what it used to be and this news is leaving me a little melancholy.

My memories of Sears are mostly about catalogue shopping. I remember as a new mother and with toddlers, how much I  depended on Sears to get what I needed for my children, my home and myself. With three small children, packing them up and leisurely strolling through the mall was not an option. I did my browsing and shopping through Sears catalogues, my online experience of the day.

Sears catalogues, and there were many throughout the year, were looked forward to but none more so than the Christmas Wish Book. The Wish Book had its pages of gifts under $10, $15, $20, etc., any toy you could imagine, games, party clothes, coats, jewellery and oh yes, fruit cakes although I have not seen those recently. The pages of Christmas decorations! Were homes really decorated like that? Not mine with three active kids but I could live vicariously through the catalogue. As my daughters got older, they would go through the Wish Book and mark exactly what they wanted for Christmas; it made my life so much easier.

Browsing the Sears catalogue was stress-free and somewhat therapeutic; no rush, no fuss, no hustle, no bustle. I would sit at the table with catalogues and flip from page to page and be inspired, envisioning how each room would look with an item(s) or zone in on an outfit or three that became must haves. Between the catalogue and the store, I have at some point, made purchases for every room. How much more simple could it be to place an order? You chit chatted with a customer service rep who, after the order was placed, would ask if you were interested in hearing what was on sale and of course who couldn't use a couple more towels or another set of sheets? Any items on backorder were identified and you were given an expected delivery date otherwise, the order was delivered next day and at that time, there were no additional delivery charges and the driver would take a cheque. Eventually, delivery charges were added and orders took a few more days. As the girls got older, we would shop in the store but catalogue browsing was still something I enjoyed and I would still place orders.

As time marched on, my girls developed their own style and we started shopping at the new stores that were popping up but Sears still drew us in and we could always find something we liked.  For me, it was their excellent selection of eye-catching, high quality handbags. Often someone would compliment me on a bag and would be surprised when I told them where I bought it. Just this year we made a trip to the store to buy bathing suits and beach wraps for our March Break trip. One stop worked for all of us.

I am sad to see Sears, that tried so hard to be everything to everyone, close some stores. Sears filled a need for my young family and for that I'm grateful. I look back fondly and I hope Sears will be able to revamp, be sustainable and help create memories of what a department store still could be for some. We all want the best for an old friend.

Will keep you posted.

My Ghost Story

Boo!

Halloween is approaching and at this time of year, there are many stories of ghostly encounters so I have decided to relate my own. What? Doesn't everyone have a ghost story? :)

Many moons ago as a teen and Girl Guide, another Guide and I spend a week as helpers at a children's camp. The location of this camp was at the historical soldiers' barracks built in 1790 and located on the seashore. It is a huge location and beautifully landscaped. The children and supervisors were assigned to a large dormitory and my friend and I had our own room with two single beds. It was on the same level as the dormitory and there were many empty spaces on that level. Our front door opened to a verandah along which we walked to the dormitory and the stairs to the outside. The back door opened on to a corridor and we had to cross that corridor to get to the bathroom. At one end of the corridor,  there was a big room; I don't remember what was in this room, if anything.

We settled in. During the day we had our meals and activities with the children. At night we talked into the night. One day, we started noticing the toilet would flush and we knew for sure no one was in the bathroom because it was just the two of us assigned to use it. Also, because we were two young ladies, no one was allowed to come and go on that floor and the children and their helpers had their own facilities. We kind of ignored it the first few times and then one day we asked someone why the toilet would flush on its own and we were told maybe it was because of the tides; remember this facility backs on to a beach. We swallowed that and I'm sure you would too.

The piece de resistance occurred one night when we heard what sounded like someone, wearing slippers, walking along the hallway towards our room. You know that slapping sound slippers make against the floor. We sat bolt upright, looked at each other to make sure we were hearing the same sound, hightailed it out of the room to the dormitory and pounded on the door to be let in. We told our story and spent the night in bunk beds.

For the remaining time, we would use our room and the bathroom during the day but come night time, you couldn't pay us to be in that space; we spent our nights in the dormitory.  I always wondered if, with the centuries old history and the number of soldiers who were stationed there, some of them going off to war never to return, there were wandering souls still haunting their old barracks or if those stationed there decided to have some fun with impressionable teens. I know which version I prefer.


Will keep you posted.

End Of October Already?

I can't believe my last post was in June; where did the time go? Here we are in October, exactly two months away from Christmas. Time really seems to be flying at warped speed the older I get.

Barbados Grand Kadooment 2013

Anyway, it was quite the summer with a trip to Barbados. It was an enjoyable time; two of my daughters took part in the Grand Kadooment parade in a costumed band. I, on the other hand, having no costume or wishing to have one, decided to "jump" with the band that requires none and brings up the rear. It was so much fun and the next few days, my calves attested to dancing for a number of hours along the parade route.

The garden survived my absence with the help of my daughter who was house/cat sitting and a neighbour. The veggies I planted in pots did well but if I do this again, I will need a sandier soil as some of the carrots were bent every which way; still delicious and 100% pesticide free. Beets and hot peppers were fine but I won't buy a mature bell pepper plant again; it was not the best return on investment but that could be due to inconsistent watering (someone confessed:). I did notice it was a thirsty plant. The biggest producer was the cherry tomato; up to last week it was full of tomatoes. Picked some and lost more because of the cold weather setting in and the garden needing to be cleaned up. If only we had a few more warm weeks. I will plant this type of tomato next year. In all, I harvested enough from all the plants to share with neighbours. The garden has been prepared, cushions and décor put away and chairs stacked for the winter.

Another year almost over. Have we done what we promised to do? Remember those New Year Resolutions? I have not accomplished all I set out to do but I continue laying the path. I had some detours and I major, unexpected but lovely right turn which I am over the moon about. It's not too late to review promises made to ourselves. What I have learnt is life is not always a straight path, there will be bends, detours, U-turns and sometimes a particular path is a dead end and I have to regroup. I'm trying to ensure I don't stop and become disillusioned but learn from the hiccups and move on. At times this is easier said than done but what is the alternative?

Will keep you posted.

She Did What?

Going through the checkout line in a supermarket is usually quite unremarkable. There is the occasional hitch if an item scans at a higher price that we thought it was or we have to identify a strange looking vegetable for a cashier so she can determine the correct code. They scan; we pay and off we go.

I have seen cashiers lick their fingers to make sure they were giving the customer correct change, that no bills were stuck together. A nasty habit indeed but today, I saw a cashier do what I thought I would never see a cashier do, she spat into a box at her feet. That action was so unexpected and disgusting, I automatically recoiled and my visitor, who was purchasing the items already on the conveyor belt, looked at me as if to ask if he had really just seen what he thought he had seen.

We wondered if she was so comfortable spitting in front of a line of customers, what the heck would she do when no one was around? Upon returning home, I decided to call the store to let them know what I had observed. They asked me for her name. Well guess what? In wanting to get the heck out of that store, I never looked for a name tag neither did I ask for the spitter for name. What I do know is that although I like to shop at that store for its fresh fish and exotic fruit, I can honestly say, today was my last day shopping there.

Will keep you posted.

My Vegetable Pots

A few weeks ago, strolling around yet another garden centre looking at plants for which we had no more garden space, my neighbour and I were seduced by a section of mature vegetable plants. The size of the plants, the fact they already had tiny green balls and we won’t have to wait weeks to harvest, as we would for the seedlings we had recently planted, confirmed the deal. We paid $12 each for a tomato plant (my neighbour) and a bell pepper (me). The pots had a built-in cage for support so we were set. They would do well on the patio.

Bell Pepper

My neighbour grows vegetables. I am more of a perennials (flower, shrubs and trees) kind of gardener but I used to have space for a few vegetables, usually tomatoes, beets, hot peppers and herbs but over time, that space was taken over by perennials, quelle surprise! I have a number of pots in my backyard that I fill with colourful annuals. This year, I decided to plant them with beets, carrots, hot peppers and tomatoes and I still added some flowers for the colour I can't do without.

I started this post talking about the mature plant purchased for $12. When I mentioned to my neighbour that I could go to the farmers’ market and purchase a whole lot of bell peppers for that amount, she reminded me that I can’t beat the joy of walking into my yard, picking a pepper and knowing it’s as fresh as it can be.

That’s one of the joys of having a kitchen garden. I  try to forget the very wet year I discarded my tomato plants, filled with green tomatoes, after a major slug infestation; just too many slugs for my comfort level. I also remember the year a few chili pepper plants produced so many peppers, I was about to run out of neighbours, friends and co-workers to give them to and had so many in my freezer, I was still using them well into the next year.

Fingers crossed that my vegetables will do well in pots. At least I know for sure the bell pepper won’t be a problem. Take a gander at that pic.

Will keep you posted.

What’s The Matter With Some Christians?

As I listened to Ugandan gay rights advocate, Frank Mugisha being being interviewed on the The Current on CBC Radio, I became sad and then angry at the tale he was telling about LGBT people being persecuted in Uganda.

I was sad that in 2013, we are still spending so much time and effort to malign and ostracize LGBT peoples. The anger came when I learnt the Ugandan anti-homosexuality bill, supported by evangelicals, was back in the news after it did not pass in 2011. Why are Christians promoting homophobia? What bible do these people read? Do they know the life of their Christ? Where does Jesus advocate that LGBT people should be targeted, ridiculed, tormented and even killed in his name?

Every morning I get up and make decisions to ensure I have a productive day. I think about what to eat, if I should I go for a walk, do I need groceries, which part of my business needs my focus, should I cut the grass and do a little gardening (or rake or shovel), should I go for coffee with my neighbor or dinner with a friend. At no time have I ever hopped out of bed and thought today would be a great day to set my sights on people  trying to live their lives, who have no bearing on my life and go out of my way to harass them by picketing, writing nasty comments on social media and supporting groups and politicians to ensure their lives are a living hell.

I became angry at this type of malicious behavior by Christians which serves to make others question what Christianity is about; I cannot imagine any sensible person being drawn to such people. If you call yourself Christian but do not live by the following command from Jesus Christ, you need to stop calling yourself Christian. "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." It appears this is not a suggestion but a very clear directive and there are no exceptions.

If you believe in fairness and allowing people to live their lives without fear of persecution and death for who they are, it’s worth listening to this interview and to follow Frank Mugisha on Facebook and Twitter to keep abreast of his activism, quest for justice and the latest on the Ugandan bill.

Will keep you posted.