Sammy Bear - A Cat Tale

My daughter Sharon and her husband Mark had to put to sleep their beloved cat, Sammy Bear.

Sammy was a rescue cat. He was a big, handsome, long-haired cat. Sammy was not the most fastidious of cats and not much into grooming.  Despite efforts to keep him well brushed, he had to be taken in on a number of occasions for expert grooming because his fur would be in knots. Sammy would be shaved and return looking like a little alien.

Sammy Bear

He was such a loving, gentle cat who insisted on sleeping between Sharon and Mark and licking Mark to the point where to get adequate rest, they installed a baby gate to keep him on the lower level. Not liking this arrangement, like a persistent child, his cries would soften hearts and Sammy would be back in his favourite spot. 

Sammy loved Sharon but he adored Mark who returned the love. We would often see Mark playing with Sammy and talking baby-talk to him. What cat would not enjoy such attention especially after his original home was not a happy place for a cat.

Sammy started to deteriorate late last year. There were additional trips to the vet, medicine and special food until something was found that he liked and he would be stable for some time and be his old self. However, the good times dwindled. After his last shave, his fur did not grow in. He was not eating and unlike previous times, he could not be coaxed to even eat his beloved treats.  Sammy had become a shadow of himself and his bones were protruding.

It was time. On October 4 at 5:15 p.m., Sammy Bear was put to sleep. We are sad and will miss that lovable kitty.  Sammy will be remembered as a sweet-natured cat and we, his family, believe his constant licks were thanks for rescuing him and making the last years of his life as stress-free and full of love as all cats deserve.

Will keep you posted.

President Obama – Underestimate at Your Peril

It appears pundits and some of President Obama`s supporters tuned in last night to watch the President as pugilist and not as debater.  From their shrieks of disappointment in his performance, it looks like they wanted him to pummel Mitt Romney to the mat or maybe drop-kick him out of the ring. That would have been spectacular, for a minute.

Yes, President Obama was low-key and I believe it was for a very good reason. I do not think for a minute he was off his game.

Angry Black Guy, Uppity are just two derogatory terms used to describe President Obama and are all too familiar to Blacks who, in the opinion of some, dared to rise above their station in life.  It does not matter that he has reached the highest position on this planet; President Obama will always be less than in their warped, simple minds, as can be attested to in this Media Matters link.

Would his detractors have been happy to see this thoughtful president go up against the combative Romney of last night with anger and aggression?  The right would still be having conniptions. Fiery headlines would be blazing across the internet on how the angry Black man beat up on poor, ole Mitt and how dare he!.  Talking points would be spewing forth like so much puke at a party of drunks. There would be no end of clips of an angry Obama appearing in ads to further scare the fearful and fence-sitters.  The angry black man label, attached to President Obama, would have hit the stratosphere with predictable results.

President Obama did not get to where he is by being reckless and stupid; he is a thinker; he is logical; he plays the long game. I believe he allowed Mitt Romney to win this debate (and the pundits to lose their collective merde) knowing Romney and the right would rejoice and spend precious time high-fiving, gloating and revisiting the embers of the debate to bask in any remaining glow. 

Meanwhile, President Obama has put himself in a position to use the remaining debates to his advantage.  Romney threw all the punches he had in this first round; let him have his moment but he has been further tagged as a flip-flopper and having a passing relationship with the truth. He defined himself before a huge audience. I am sure Mitt Romney is on a high and thinking he has President Obama on the ropes and unless he flops back from the debate flip, he has nothing more to add to the upcoming debates.

To those who wanted anger and aggression, remember, Barack Obama is the President not a street brawler. You would have been doubly disappointed if he had behaved in such a manner. To those on the right, you may wish to enjoy your pyrrhic victory and, may I suggest, if you have never heard of rope-a-dope, look it up..

Will keep you posted.

My Birthday

September is over and with it, another birthday.

After being pestered about how I would like to celebrate my milestone birthday, my daughters ignored everything I said about a quiet dinner out and decided a surprise party would be the way to go. It made my night to see the cross section of family and friends the girls brought together to celebrate with me. To  boot, there was dancing which gave me the opportunity to strut my stuff (love that expression) which I had not done for some time.

Tracey, Leah and Sharon, I love you and thank you for making my birthday a wonderful celebration.  Sometimes it pays to disobey your mother but just this once.

Leah, the one being celebrated, Tracey & Sharon

Will keep you posted.

My Mother

My mother, Maggie

On this Mother’s Day, I look back at my mother, Maggie, who died April 17, 1995. I think of her every day, and every day I put her practical advice into use. I credit my mother for the woman I am today, strong enough to raise my three lovelies, Tracey, Leah and Sharon, after my marriage was no more, to be the strong, professional women they are today.

My mother was already in her forties when I was born and although I often wondered if I was a surprise, she never once gave me that impression.  She was a practical woman, a kind person and good with money which there was not a lot of but we made do and she handled the household finances.  Along with my father's job, my parents had a field of sugarcane, a few cows, sheep, pigs and poultry.  They sold milk, butchered pigs for sale and we always had fresh poultry and eggs. I cannot remember ever wanting for much as a child. It probably helped that although families were bigger back then, I was the only child in the home after my bother married when I was six.

Every day I put my mother’s wisdom into play and I have always imparted it to my girls, especially when they may be having a rough day.  Here are a few examples of my mother’s advice (and yes, many of them are universal) in no particular order of importance and how I applied them to my life (these would have been said in our local dialect which I would not try to type hereJ:

Never let anyone live rent free in your head

• It is easy to internalized slings and arrows of others; to be hurt by negative comments and behaviour but after a day or two of constantly thinking about it and planning numerous ways of getting back at the person, I have learnt to either let it go or confront the person, trash it out and let it go

Consider the source

• Some people are not worth the effort. As much as we would like to think there are no lost causes, some of us are just destructive and should be avoided as much as possible. If avoidance is not possible, see above

The dog that brings a bone carries a bone

• Do not participate in gossip. Do not share anything with anyone that you do not mind being on the street

No one can take away your education

• Arm yourself so you are not at the mercy of others

Education is not commonsense

• Education is a must (see above) but commonsense will serve you well

Never put a stumbling block in anyone’s way

• Self explanatory. Will come back to bite you in the nether regions

Be careful  of the hole you dig for others that you do not fall in yourself

• Something more of us should think about. Always consequences to our actions

Keep a secret

• Let the person spread it if they wish but not you
• I have a vivid example as a young teen when an older teen told me an extremely personal secret. I told a friend and so on, and so on. It got back to the young lady in question, she complained to my mother and after I was read the riot act my mother advised the young lady she had no business telling me what she had done anyway and to keep such behaviour to herself. A twofer.

Never concern yourself with how people got what they have ’cause you do not know what they did to get it

• Speaks for itself

Do not be poor and show poor

• If you have one shirt, wash and iron at the end of each day and people will think you have many

Always have your own bank account

• Good to have the communal pot but it never hurts to be in control of some personal cash and you will never be at the mercy of anyone whether they are a miser or spendthrift

Share with others

• You may think you do not have much but there will be others who could use a little help. I remember as a child, especially at Christmas and Easter, taking parcels of ham, baked goods a drink or two to old widows who did not have much or who were no longer up to the task of preparing traditional foods at the holidays
• Back in the day, visitors would just drop by unannounced on Sundays, there was always enough food made just in case, hence leftover Mondays

These sentiments are shared by many but the trick is not to just hear what was said but to apply it to everyday lives. I miss my mother and wish she could have been around to see her grandchildren grow up. I did not always see eye-to-eye with her  and there were days, as a teenager, wishing for freedom from rules and a lax mother but I am glad for the one I had. Because of who she was and her practicality, I am the woman I am and I imparted her wisdom to her grandchildren and I am sure it will flow unto her great-grands and so on. She will forever live in our hearts.

Will keep you posted.

Turn the Other Cheek? Hell No!

I am not a violent person; Lord knows I would rather avoid confrontation and failing that use diplomacy and tact to diffuse the situation. However, the feelings of anger, rage, impotence and outright revenge that engulfed me when I started to watch the video of Fullerton, California cops, Manuel Ramos and Jay Cicinelli, beating and tasering the homeless and mentally ill man, Kelly Thomas, overwhelmed me.

I could not watch to completion as tears and sadness weighed me down when  Mr. Thomas started apologizing (for what?) probably thinking this would stop the assault. I totally lost it when he started calling for his father. Yet, those thugs (I will not state here what I really called them), totally devoid of feelings, empathy and compassion, continued their brutal assault on this man, whose crime, it appears, was to be homeless and mentally ill.

Thank goodness for surveillance cameras because without the video, the story may well be the usual one told by rogue cops of the victim being the aggressor.  Thanks also to social media which will ensure a wider audience is aware of another senseless death by cruel men.  One would think after incidents like Rodney King and Robert Dziekanski, cops would temper their behaviour but hell no, seems some of them just can't help themselves.

A man is dead because of the brutality of those who promised to serve and protect; it is to laugh at the irony.  We can only follow this case and hope justice is served but the way I felt after listening to Mr. Thomas’ apologies and cries for his dad, I would willingly repay those cops in kind. Not interested in the death penalty, that would be too good for them. Let them start each day experiencing what Mr. Thomas endured.to just within an inch of their lives. Every night they would be forced to watch the video on a loop playing throughout the night ensuring they would hear Mr. Thomas' cries each time they tossed and turned in their fitful sleep. It’s only fair to have their actions and the beaten face of Mr. Thomas seared into their brains until the day they die. They deserve no less.

Will keep you posted.

What’s a Poor Grammarian to Do?

Contractions

We’ve seen it or have been guilty of it; using “your” when clearly it should be“you’re”, making it obvious some of us have a problem with contractions and the difference between “your” and “you’re".

Just check out the comments on blog posts, Twitter, Facebook and other social media to see "your' running rampant with nary a "you're" in sight.

Once upon a time one could count on some smarty-pants acting as grammar police on a thread, calling out writers who assaulted the language, but not so much anymore. I think they’ve decided their sanity is worth more than correct grammar. Or maybe it was the abuse hurled at them for pointing out grammar shortcomings.

“Looser” instead of “loser” is showing up more these days but that’s another post. Language evolves but please, not like this.

Anyway, here, thanks to @hilzFuld, is a perfect and hilarious example of "your" and "you're". If you don't get it, don't worry; no one will call you a "looser" or is it "loser"?

Language evolves but please, not like this.

Will keep you posted.

Alone But Not Lonely

Here we are on the cusp of May; almost five months into the year and no sign of the nice man I am to meet.  Yup, he is one of my resolutions for this year; meet a nice man for companionship.  Actually, he was one of my goals last year as well. So far, there’s no sign of him. He sure is elusive.

Where are the older men? They can’t all be living like hermits. Are they all in relationships?  Have they tried the dating scene and given up? Have they migrated to younger women? Well, some of them have. I seldom see older men on their own. You can guaranty if there’s an older man pushing a grocery cart or walking around a store, his partner is not far off.

I complain about not meeting anyone, but truth be told, I am not looking that hard. Actually, I am not looking at all. If it happens, so be it. I have walked the married/in a relationship road with less than stellar results. I have found myself putting up with shoddy behaviour and wondered why, since outside my marriage when my girls were little, I was never financially dependent on anyone. It was not like I was fulfilling my dreams of travel with any of them, or dinners, theatre, tours. No, these relationships were basic; dinner, movie, dance and a picnic once a year. Of course, in the beginning there would be gifts and more movies and dinners. Then the comments would start about how much they enjoy just having a home-cooked meal and just hanging out at home. How relaxing it is to just stay in.  How going out on a holiday Monday is difficult because of work on Tuesday which just left Saturday as an OK day. Going out would be reduced further to the bare minimum to tamp down on my complaints of “You don’t take me anywhere.”

Mingy, My Adorable Companion

Marriage is not in my future.  Neither is sharing my home with anyone. I am at a place in my life where having a companion for social activities is all I require. So what type of man would fit the bill? Here is what I wrote on the subject on December 31, 2011:

So if you are independent, unattached, financially responsible, care about your relatives and pets; date women close to your age, love hanging out, movies, theatre, day trips, travel and giving back; if you look fairly decent, take care of yourself, have a live and let live attitude and a sense of humour; if you keep abreast of what’s going on in the world and at least try to keep up with technology; if you are not set in your ways and just waiting for death, maybe we’ll meet sooner than later.

Knowing what I want from a relationship (even one that is yet to materialize) is half the battle. Learning from my mistakes makes it easier to be upfront in a new relationship. I won’t settle for less again even if it means being alone but definitely not lonely especially with Mingy (pictured) to keep me company.

Will keep you posted.