Winter

Freshly fallen snow crunching under foot. Fat snowflakes floating gently down, clinging to toques and eyelashes.  Trees and shrubs arrayed in white finery. Kids frolicking in the snow. White as far as you can see. These are the postcard images of a perfect winter; the one we all love before the plows and salt trucks rumble by.

Not all snowfalls are of a romantic nature, lending themselves to long walks. Some are downright nasty with icy pellets whipping against the skin and some are heavy, wet and backache-inducing when shoveling it out of our way.

For many, snow only on Christmas day would be perfect. After that, the remaining winter months without their white cloak would be even better. Thankfully, winter has its cheerleaders. They embrace winter activities with a passion. They take to the ski hills and where ever a smooth, icy surface can be found and others just accept it quietly, looking forward to the warming days that signal spring is coming.

Although winter is not my favourite season, fall is, I still get out and enjoy it. I walk every morning except when it is extremely cold or icy and I especially like walking during the picture postcard snowfalls. That’s when winter’s at its best and I usually take my camera to capture the beauty around me. Hope you enjoy the photos.

“Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.”  ~Author Unknown

Will keep you posted.

Garden Therapy for Winter Blues

Don’t get me wrong, I love winter and right now, snow is gently falling and it’s beautiful. When the snow turns grey and slushy and there’s not much sunlight, I, like many others, become a bit forlorn and start thinking of better weather. To help me through the funk, I think about and look at photos of my garden.

I remember what it was like when we first moved into this house many years ago. It was a new development and a blank canvas; my landscape was just grass and a tree. Here was my opportunity to splash colour on that canvas; I could do whatever I wanted, I was the mistress of my domain.  I pored over gardening brochures, looked through gardening books, bought more gardening books, watched gardening shows on HGTV, spent too much time at gardening centres and visited friends with established gardens who happily shared their plants.  Another thing I did was what I like to call, “rock picking”.  On weekends, I would drag the girls to side roads and construction sites to find nice size rocks to use around the garden beds I was creating for the fabulous landscape I envisioned. They were not thrilled then but we laugh about it now.

Our area has clay soil so it had to be emended. I hauled a lot of manure, topsoil, peat moss and mulch. I even set up a compost bin.  In the beginning, I fell in love with every plant and planted as many as I could but eventually reality bit and I realized I had to be practical and add plants that would do well in this environment.  I’ve managed to have trees and shrubs (evergreen and deciduous), ground cover, vines (on the fence and side walls), spring bulbs, grasses, flowering and non-flowering (well not showy) perennials and a small pond. 

 

Overtime my garden has evolved. The tiny spruce trees that I could decorate easily at Christmas are now towering over the garden.  Some plants have become invasive and have to be dug out and restricted. A few did poorly after their sunny spot became shady and had to be moved to another part of the garden. Some just did not survive, like the torch flower I loved. The bare spots that were filled in with annuals are now full of perennials and annuals are now placed in urns and pots for that extra splash of colour. 

I think I did well with the mix of plantings to ensure interest in the garden throughout the seasons; from crocuses, tulips, daffodils, forsythia, lilacs, bleeding heart and other spring blooming plants through to day lilies, purple coneflowers, astilbe, Shasta daisies, black-eyed susans, phlox, yarrow, evening primrose and more in summer to asters, sedum and burning bush in fall.  One thing though, I’ve never grown roses; meant to but never did.

Much of my time in the garden is now spent, not in planting as in previous years, but in maintenance. There is much pruning to be done to keep the shrubs in check, weeding and watering. I still amend the soil and occasionally when I’m at a garden centre and see an interesting plant, I’ll try to find a spot for it. Last summer I found curly grass; couldn’t resist running my fingers through it. I bought a few, put them in the urns and then added annuals; I loved the look.

It’s a small space (back and front) but I like what my garden has become not just to me, family and friends but to the assortment of birds, butterflies and bees that visit the birdbath and flowers; the squirrels running along the fence or getting a drink from the birdbath. I once watched one industrious little squirrel run back and forth in the front garden, gathering leaves to build a nest in one of the trees.  A cat sometimes comes up to the back door causing my kitties to go into frenzy.  It’s even hard to stay mad at the raccoons that constantly dragged the water lily out of the pond and ate the water hyacinths.

Gardening is great therapy. When I am digging in the soil, planting or re-potting, cutting the grass, trimming the hedge, spreading mulch or manure, watering or just simply being in the garden, there is no room for negative thoughts.  I become excited seeing the new shoots poking through the snow in spring, the beautiful colours of the flowers, the changes to the garden as the seasons progress and when winter is beginning to seem a bit too long, I look at photos of my garden and smile in anticipation.

"Cares melt when you kneel in your garden." Unknown

"An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life." Unknown

"Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"-- Robin Williams

Will keep you posted.

Our Cats

My family loves cats and we always joke that in our next lives, we will be coming back as cats in families just like ours.

Let me introduce you to my little friends or as I call them, my grand kitties.  Living with me are three females, Mingus aka Mingy; Mary and Rhoda.  Technically, these cats belong to my daughter, Tracey.  She’d moved back home for a few months with Mingy and when she left, Mingy remained with me.  Tracey then adopted Mary and Rhoda who always came for weekend visits with Tracey but last year she decided it would be nice for them to spend the summer so they could enjoy the garden. Well guess what, apparently, summer has not yet ended in Tracey’s world. 

Mingy is a sweetie and has allowed Mary and Rhoda full access to her home.  She loves to have her back patted vigorously.  Mary and Rhoda love being in the garden but I’ve noticed Mary also likes going outside when it’s cold and snowy. She’s also my shadow, following me around the house and watching as I do my chores.  Rhoda is more independent and comes to me to have her ears tickled and her back scratched. Anyway, I love having them here and truth be told, I would miss Mare and Rho if they went back to their home. By the way, Tracey has been told in no uncertain terms that she is NOT to adopt any more cats as I am quite aware how this story ends.

Other kitties are Cleo and Mica, female longhairs, who live with Leah and Julian and Sammy, male, also a longhair, who lives with Sharon and Mark.  Cleo is used to my home as she lived here when Leah was still at home but Mica never stayed here until I had to look after them when Leah and Julian were away for a week. Let’s just say Mica was not at all thrilled with this arrangement.  Leah and Julian live in a loft and Mica always climbs to the pipes and ducts. Since I don’t have such high places in my home, she was not a happy kitty. She would climb on top of high pieces of furniture trying to get even higher.  Mica also loves to cuddle; whenever I was lying down, she would climb on me and snuggle into my neck.  Cleo gave us a scare a few years ago when she disappeared from the back garden. We scoured the neighbourhood, called around and put up posters. She finally showed up two days later and guess who was not allowed in the garden anymore?  Sammy is one laid back cat and so grateful to be in a loving home. He’d had a traumatic life living in a home with a dog and he had not been treated well. Sammy loves to sleep between Sharon and Mark and usually finds himself on the other side of the bedroom door when he starts licking Mark’s face.  We’re glad to have him but I think he’s happier to have us. 

Jake and Princess live two hours away with Julian’s mum.  They were strays, who with their mother, came to my yard and my neighbour’s. Unfortunately we had to have the mother picked up by animal control because each year she was producing two litters and it was heartbreaking to see them struggle for food and to watch her become thinner.  From each litter it appeared only one kitten would be strong enough to survive so Julian took Jake to his mother’s home. From the next litter, the survivor was Princess. These two are sleek, jet black cats who tend to hide when we visit.  

There are those that now only live on in our hearts. We have kept their ashes. They are Coal, one of the strays who died during the time when pets were dying from eating contaminated pet food. There was Max, a very big cat, not fat, just big. He got sick and died suddenly.  There was Yogi, Julian’s cat, who died of old age.  

We have to stay on top of cat hair, stop them from jumping and scratching where they shouldn’t but this is a small price to pay for their unconditional love and companionship.  They are members of our family and we love them to pieces.

Will keep you posted.

Mary, Mingy &Rhoda keeping an eye on a visitor

 

The Dream Reclaimed

This is a poem I wrote last year in honour of Black History Month and thought I'll share it as once again we're celebrating Black History.

The Dream Reclaimed

Black people, when will you stop hating yourself?

When will that hatred be turned where it rightfully belongs?  To injustice. To unrealized dreams.

Remember when you had a common goal?

You were fighting for your place in society.

To be educated like the others.

To eat where you wanted.  To get a drink of water where you thirsted.  You had a dream.

You looked to strong leaders who inspired you with their dreams.

You gathered together to fight for each other, to encourage each other knowing the consequences could be death.

You faced down racists in high places, the sharp teeth of dogs trained to intimidate you.

You defied family and friends who, too timid or scared to look to a brighter future, begged and pleaded with you to accept it as it was.

Black people, what became of you?

When did the dream wither and die within you?

When did it become acceptable for you to turn your anger on those who look just like you?

When did it become acceptable for those who overcame to say, “I’ve got mine, too bad for you”?

When did the dream become a nightmare?

Have you turned your back on education?  This was part of the dream to help lift you to the Promised Land.

Don’t for a minute think the Promised Land is where you go when you die after suffering here on earth.

The Promised Land is the safe neighbourhood where you raise and nourish your children without fear of a drive-by death.

The Promised Land is where your children respect their educators and absorb knowledge to prepare them for a future of endless possibilities.

The Promised Land is where you worship to grow spiritually, be a comfort and encouragement to each other not where you overflow the coffers of those who are supposedly leading you.

Black people, open your eyes and see what you have become.

You are more than entertainers.              

You have a wonderful history, learn it and share it.

Do not let others define who you are.  You are more than grist for the prison mill, more than vendors of street pharmaceuticals, more that abandoners of families, more than fillers of bank accounts for undertakers.

Black people, you are givers of life.  Look around you. 

Look at each other with new vision.  Turn your anger and hatred away from each other and focus it where it belongs. Identify the enemy and fight for your freedom.  Fight the oppression.  You have fought this battle before.  Now is the time to win the war.

It won’t be easy.  It never has been easy.

Black people, apathy is your enemy.  Pull empathy to your side.  Embrace education with a powerful grip; this will propel you to the Promised Land and can never be taken away from you.  Cast off dependencies of all kinds.  Become leaders.  Support those who are not as strong.  Work together in small groups to resolve issues and implement plans.  From small groups grow large organizations.  Keep your leaders honest.  Question them; question what you are told; no one person has all the answers.  Welcome all ideas and suggestions and use the best of them.  Look at all sides of an issue to arrive at how best to solve a problem.  There will be failure; learn from it to do better next time.  Celebrate your successes, loudly and with passion.

Black people love and cherish each other.  You are not the enemy.  You are the reflection of the hopes and dreams of each other.  Be proud.  The dream is not lost; it is just waiting to be realized.

My New Year’s Resolutions at End of January

As part of my personal change strategy, I decided to set specific goals for 2011 to reflect the positive changes I want to have in my life.  Here are my goals and what I have done or plan to do to achieve them.

·         Morning Walks – To be upfront, daily walks are not new.  I’ve been walking mornings throughout the year but believe me, it’s still difficult to hop out of bed, bundle up during the winter months and be out of the house by 6:30 to walk for 30 to 45 minutes but I do it.

·         Volunteer – Something I’ve done before and wanted to do again. The last time I volunteered (as a home visitor), my girls were still living at home so now that I am an empty nester, why am I not giving freely of my time?  In December, I contacted a food bank and on January 14, started my first shift sorting donations and stacking shelves, something I will be doing weekly. 

·         Once a Month Family  Sunday Dinners – My girls and sons-in-law visit on a regular basis not necessarily at the same time. We are all busy but I wanted us to get together once a month for a nice meal, prepared by me, our usual loud conversations, relaxation and fun.  We settled on the third Sunday of each month. Flexibility is built in; if someone can’t make it, no stress.  We had our first dinner on January 16; a hearty beef stew, green peas and rice, Brussels sprouts, a nice red wine and chocolate cake. A good time was had by all and they are already requesting favourite meals. Off topic a little. I’ve asked the girls to get together at my home to go through the boxes of photos we’ve been accumulating. This will be a time for them to reminisce and just be with each other.

·         Learn Father’s Family History – I know most of my mother’s family history, much of it from relatives and entries in a family journal that is over 100 years old. Not so much on my father’s side so I created a list of questions for my father’s last remaining sibling, Aunt Millie.   Aunt Millie is quite a character and to hear my father tell it, when I was a child, she was known as the sibling who spoke her mind, something many women were not known for back in the day.  She and I have had conversations about the family and what it was like when she was growing up but I had specific questions and decided to put them together and ask Millie to provide the answers.  I called my aunt to let her know what I was about to request and sent off the package with a returned envelope.  My girls are excited to see Millie’s responses and to learn a bit more of their history. This little exercise also made us think about taking a trip to see Aunt Millie. You know, this is something we all can do before the links to our past are no more. 

·         Maintain my Home – Why wait until spring to tackle major house cleaning jobs? My home is not messy by any stretch of the imagination but we all know it doesn’t take much for clutter to form.  Although I receive most bills electronically, I still get a good amount of mail the old fashion way so I try to not let them pile up.  Junk mail and bills that have been paid are shredded and flyers, restaurant menus, etc. are placed in the recycling bin. Once upon a time I kept these items telling myself I will use them at some point. Well, that rarely happened because I often forgot what was in those piles. I no longer keep magazines after I’ve read them, I just recycle them along with my daily paper.  Still working on the catalogues, I tend to hang onto those. Closets and cupboards are the big jobs I have to do. So far I’ve organized the bottom of one closet and by doing a little each week, I should be done with the rest in no time. Come spring, the only major cleaning job will be my windows.

·         Socialize with Girlfriends – Many of the women I know are without a partner and many of us tend to socialize with our kids or a few friends. I have decided that I will organize outings for the women in my social circle and they in turn can invite other women to join us.  This actually was started in November when three of us went to a political debate; four of us went to a dinner theatre and the following week to a Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony. Not large numbers but a start. This year I will follow through with plans for us to go to festivals, picnics and other outings.

·         Meet a Nice Man for Companionship – This is most definitely a goal so it is on my list. I am no longer leaving something so important to chance.  Remember, listing your goals help you focus on achieving them.  I made a list of what I want in this person as I am no longer willing to get involved in a relationship that is not working for me. Why waste his time and mine?  Expectations are high hereJ 

·         Say Yes More Often – I enjoy solitary activities so I recognize my need to step outside my comfort zone and say yes to more invitations. This ties in nicely with wanting to socialize more with girlfriends.

·         Travel at Least Twice - For business and pleasure.

·         Grow my Business – The last item on this list but not the least. After a setback with a website designer, I had to set about finding someone to complete my site.  I will draw on my skills and knowledge to make it all come together. Expecting great things this year.

When called to a meeting, we expect an agenda to keep track of what is to be discussed.  On a road trip, we follow a map. Should our lives be any different? Listing what we wish to accomplish helps us focus on our goals. Referring to the list on a regular basis keeps us on track and allows us to tweak it as necessary.  In my opinion, if we map out our resolutions in the same manner, I believe we will be more successful in accomplishing them.

Will keep you posted.