Music Hath Charms to Soothe a Savage Breast

As I listened to an interview on a radio show about the effect of certain tracks of music in that person’s life, bittersweet memories flooded over me on how I was affected by a piece of music.

When my marriage started falling apart, my three daughters were still very young. Only the eldest had started school so my days were very busy taking care of them, cooking, baking, doing laundry, cleaning and running out for groceries.

At night, however, it was a different story. After putting the girls to bed, I had loads of time to think about my dying marriage. I would sit on the couch eating ice-cream and dwell on the behaviour of my straying husband. I would wonder what was wrong with me that he would want to be out pursuing other women instead of building a strong bond with his wife and little girls. I pondered what I could do differently to change things. I would sit there feeling sad, dejected and defeated wondering what was to become of my children and me.

During this bleak period, I heard Gloria Gaynor’s song, I will Survive. I was so inspired by those lyrics that I bought the album. I would sing along and dance around the apartment. So after feeling for a long time like something the dog rolled in, bit by bit I started to feel good about myself and to think clearly about my future, a future that did not include my husband. I started planning my exit. He decided we should move from the apartment to a townhouse where I stayed for nine months before finally moving into a townhouse in a new area with my girls.

I realized now I had to go through that dark, self-pitying period in order to understand I had the inner strength to rise above what I had no control over, i.e. my husband’s behaviour, and look for solutions to move forward with my life.

It’s been many years. My girls are now adults pursuing professional careers. They were raised with lots of love and I couldn’t be more proud of them. Sure there were rough patches but in the end, the four of us survived and I like to think Gloria Gaynor, belting out I Will Survive, inspired me to take control of my life. 

I still have the album.

Will keep you posted.