Rules To Live By

Yesterday, I wrote about my daughters giving me advice and how our roles had reversed. That got me thinking about the rules they laid down for me, after they had all left the nest, to ensure my safety and that I won't be found dead in my bed or the bottom of the stairs. Here are a few of the rules:

• If going out in the evening, I have to let them know. Once I forgot to do this and my cell was off. Guess what? I came home to a note on my pillow informing me middle daughter had called youngest daughter (who was still in my neck of the woods) and instructed her to go to the house and see if all was well with me.

• When going down the stairs, I must hold on to the handrail at all times. I must stop running up and down the stairs as I am wont to do (some days it's the only exercise I get::). I must also look out for cats on the top step as this is where they like to hangout and once, middle daughter fell down the stairs after tripping over a cat. Please note I was not the one falling over a cat.

• As I work at my computer a lot, I get random texts from middle daughter telling me to put my shoulders down from around my ears and reminders to do the neck and shoulder exercises as previously instructed.

• Stay in contact with one of them each day. Thankfully I'm one of those older people happy to use technology and social media. These days, I text more than I talk and they can always check to see if I posted on Twitter or Facebook or responded to a one on one message or in our group texts.

Not only have certain rules been implemented on my behalf but just a few months ago, I went on a trip I had previously said I was opting out of because first born daughter could no longer go due to a scheduling conflict. She informed the travel agent to switch the ticket to my name and THEN I was informed.

So far, the rules make sense and the trip was heavenly and if this is how they will look out for me in my later years also known as the second childhood, then I'm in great hands.

Will keep you posted.

Role Reversal

My daughters have been giving me advice. After years of guiding and encouraging them, I now find myself in the position of receiving guidance, encouraging words and at times, the proverbial slap upside my head.

I have been doing some serious introspection to fully understand why I am the way I am and how to be less of a worrier. Self-reflection is the easy part; actually making necessary changes that result from this exercise is the head cracker. Why? After years of worrying whether I was doing the right thing and making the correct decisions, while single handedly making a decent life for my daughters, it's difficult to change that part of me. I still worry about the girls but now I worry about making decisions that are right for me.

My three daughters and I have always been a tight-knit group and I always had an open outlook and they could discuss anything with me and not be judged or have that information used as a cudgel later on. Of course it has not always been an easy road and we never agreed on everything but we valued each other's input and tried to walk the talk as they say. One thing I always treasured was hearing my daughters tell me they knew their secret was safe with me and that I would never mention a thing to a sister unless they gave the green light.

Now the roles have been reversed and I am listening to my daughters speak some hard truths to me and of course, they come from a place of love. Not only, are they telling me what I should be doing to relieve stress and make some wrongs right, they are actually backing up their opinion with detailed information from observing me all these years. They have actually pointed out where I tend to sabotage situations so I can save myself potential agony (more than likely of my own doing) down the road.

I appreciate their input and who better to get advice from than the people who know you best plus I don't have to lie on a couch, these therapy sessions can be spontaneous and best of all, the price is right; well maybe a nice home cooked meal here and there.

Will keep you posted.

Sears - What It Meant To Me

Sears Christmas Wish Book 2013

Sears will be moving out of some prime location malls, including my home mall as business is not what it used to be and this news is leaving me a little melancholy.

My memories of Sears are mostly about catalogue shopping. I remember as a new mother and with toddlers, how much I  depended on Sears to get what I needed for my children, my home and myself. With three small children, packing them up and leisurely strolling through the mall was not an option. I did my browsing and shopping through Sears catalogues, my online experience of the day.

Sears catalogues, and there were many throughout the year, were looked forward to but none more so than the Christmas Wish Book. The Wish Book had its pages of gifts under $10, $15, $20, etc., any toy you could imagine, games, party clothes, coats, jewellery and oh yes, fruit cakes although I have not seen those recently. The pages of Christmas decorations! Were homes really decorated like that? Not mine with three active kids but I could live vicariously through the catalogue. As my daughters got older, they would go through the Wish Book and mark exactly what they wanted for Christmas; it made my life so much easier.

Browsing the Sears catalogue was stress-free and somewhat therapeutic; no rush, no fuss, no hustle, no bustle. I would sit at the table with catalogues and flip from page to page and be inspired, envisioning how each room would look with an item(s) or zone in on an outfit or three that became must haves. Between the catalogue and the store, I have at some point, made purchases for every room. How much more simple could it be to place an order? You chit chatted with a customer service rep who, after the order was placed, would ask if you were interested in hearing what was on sale and of course who couldn't use a couple more towels or another set of sheets? Any items on backorder were identified and you were given an expected delivery date otherwise, the order was delivered next day and at that time, there were no additional delivery charges and the driver would take a cheque. Eventually, delivery charges were added and orders took a few more days. As the girls got older, we would shop in the store but catalogue browsing was still something I enjoyed and I would still place orders.

As time marched on, my girls developed their own style and we started shopping at the new stores that were popping up but Sears still drew us in and we could always find something we liked.  For me, it was their excellent selection of eye-catching, high quality handbags. Often someone would compliment me on a bag and would be surprised when I told them where I bought it. Just this year we made a trip to the store to buy bathing suits and beach wraps for our March Break trip. One stop worked for all of us.

I am sad to see Sears, that tried so hard to be everything to everyone, close some stores. Sears filled a need for my young family and for that I'm grateful. I look back fondly and I hope Sears will be able to revamp, be sustainable and help create memories of what a department store still could be for some. We all want the best for an old friend.

Will keep you posted.